#83

My Older Son...

When he was a baby I struggled. My OCD makes me thrive on consistency and sameness and when he was different than Gabrielle, who was basically the perfect baby, I became highly frustrated internally while racking my brain to figure what I was doing wrong to cause him to be different. Silly me, learning to be a Dad for the second time.

Once I got used to the fact he was just going to be different and it wasn't me and that I would need to adjust to him being his own person and there was nothing I could do to control the experience I had the frustration went away. What remained was Ann having a hard time getting him to sleep at night, until we figured out he needed my scent. It was me he needed to smell to be ok to sleep. She started keeping a warm shirt of mine with her and took one on the vacation her and the kids went on with her parents while I was stuck in CA for work.

I resorted to falling asleep with him on my chest, like my Dad did with me, on the couch usually. Then he grew a bit and starting eating a ton of things including his Grandfather Valdivia's cereal - and Trevor was the only person Grandpa would share his cereal with.

Then he grew some more and his eating habits became very restricted which caused Ann and I a to become frustrated again. That has gotten better over the years, thankfully and he had other quirks about his listening, his emotions, his speech and his own particular thought patterns.

He hit 10 years old this April and something happened inside of him I didn't expect. He gets up early sometimes, on his own, before anybody and makes coffee for Ann and I. He loves to make me breakfast. He always comes to see how my day has been, which is usually challenging because I work in Service. He has started to make very mature, responsible decisions on his own, around us an on his own, with us finding out later.

One morning he cooked me breakfast I caught him looking at house advertisements which is one thing he really loves to do. He looked so grown up to me in that moment, and as far as he has come with growing up, I want it to slow down. He's 10 and he becoming a young man faster than I expected and sometimes it makes me speechless.

Talk about someone who makes you proud...I love you, Son.